When Peggy Cooper invited me to participate as an author in a book about “taking the high road” in divorce, I had to stop and think. How does that work, exactly? That is, how do people take the high road? The reality is, people divorce every day with a minimum of conflict and bitterness. I think this result is due to happenstance and good fortune, rather than design. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people experience anger, resentment, financial and emotional devastation that take years to overcome. What if there was an alternative: a template, a roadmap, a cheat-sheet to a healthy divorce?
When I saw the list of authors contributing to this much-needed resource, I knew Peggy was on to something big. I realized we were going to shake the foundation of divorce as modern culture has come to define it. I was excited to be a part of it. The divorce “narrative” in modern culture is one of bitterness, resentment, manipulation, revenge, payback, and financial drain. Then there is the devastation and life-altering effects of divorce on children. This narrative, this experience, this train wreck, is optional. There is a different way.
Two Aspects of Divorce: Perspective and Process
This book covers two aspects of divorce. The first is perspective. Like so many things in life, our perspective determines our experience. Several chapters of the book are dedicated to changing perspective in order to change the experience. What if choosing cooperation over conflict makes Life After Divorce better? What if the person facing divorce could shape his or her new life starting the day the divorce began? What if divorce brings out not the worst in us, but rather our best? What if it reveals the best and builds upon it? Experience is dependent upon perspective.
This resource also examines the process of divorce. It is an accepted part of modern culture that divorces take place with lawyers and judges and court rooms and testimony and arguments and verdicts. And, the emotional and financial devastation that accompanies those things are simply unavoidable. Divorce: Taking the High Road provides insight and direction for anyone wishing to choose a different way. There are options besides litigation and the carnage left in its wake. There are ways to put the spouses in control of the process, to allow spouses to manage the cost, and for spouses to find the win/win solutions that exist in almost every divorce.
You and/or someone you know should read this book. It could be the difference in their lives and the lives of their children.