2017 brings with it an opportunity to create something new or start again. It also brings with it the end of some things. I’ve heard that January is also referred to as “National Divorce Month.” Not because divorce is celebrated, but rather because so many divorces are filed in January.
It sounds logical when you think about it. Who wants to file a divorce immediately before the Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays? What a downer for everyone, including kids and extended family. Who wants to have to explain the whole divorce saga over Christmas dinner? If someone can wait, it’s just so much less stressful to wait until January.
For the record, I have not been able to confirm this. A Google search will give you countless results confirming this label, but not much hard data to support it. But for the purposes of this blog, I’m running with it.
Consequently, radio ads for family law services are seemingly more abundant and frequent. Smart move- use your advertising dollar when the message might be more readily heard and considered. One ad in particular offers advice to those considering divorce ranging from how to communicate with your soon-to-be-ex (phone, text, email), to strategies to influence the judge.
If someone can wait, it’s much less stressful to wait until January
I found that advice about influencing the judge very interesting and enlightening. If you’ve read my blogs, I’m no big fan of divorce litigation. However, there will always be a need for good divorce litigators and they surely deserve the opportunity to advertise their services. In one particular ad, the lawyers advised litigants to always be courteous and calm. In addition, parties are encouraged to be generous and agreeable on the small stuff in divorce. This way, the party can appear to be the reasonable one. The one who is willing to agree. Meanwhile, the opposing party can be made to look contentious and belligerent. The client is advised that this way, the judge will look upon them more favorably and their attorney’s fees can be saved for “what is important”.
As another well-known ad says, “it’s just that easy!” No, it’s not. Nor is it the smart play. Seriously, does anyone think the judge will be fooled by this? Or that judges haven’t seen this before? Then there is the possibility that the judge will be fooled by this. Perhaps the judges are so easily manipulated. What if the system actually rewards litigants who pretend to be agreeable on things that don’t matter so they can be vicious and spend significant sums of money on the things they think are most important? Why would anyone choose to risk the future of their money and family to a system that rewards who can put on the best act to manipulate the decision maker?
I’d like to run my ad immediately after: Save your money for what is important, like rebuilding your life, investing in your future and creating your own retirement plan, not your lawyer’s. The smart play might be a collaborative divorce. Take the reins of the divorce in the hands of you and your spouse, and out of the hands of a judge who doesn’t know you and can easily be manipulated by pretense, manipulation and gamesmanship. Put the power in the hands of the two people who know and care the most about your money and your family- you and your spouse.
Hopefully you are not considering the divorce this year, but if you are and know someone who is, I am available to meet and discuss all of the options available to get a divorce in Texas. Here is a bit if free advice: stay married in 2017 if at all possible!
You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be happy to send you a PDF version of my book Divorce:Taking the High Road.
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