Reaching an impasse in divorce litigation seems almost the rule rather than the exception. Since many of the players (lawyers,experts) make more money when there is more conflict the system rewards conflict rather than cooperation. More troubling is that system does not reward solution to any great degree. Also, since the process is judicially centered, it is often difficult to put anyone up against a deadline so as to create a sense of urgency.
Impasse can be the result of many different factors in divorce litigation. A divorce coach can support you in achieving a “breakthrough” by the following:
• Identifying communication styles and breakdowns in litigation
• Recognizing “hot button” words and behaviors that block progress
• Moving out of “spotlight”/narrow thinking
• Growing the universe of options
• Revealing hidden interests
• Expanding concepts of equality and fairness
• Outlining options for resolution outside the court system
• Engaging high conflict people, negative advocates, and extreme emotions and thoughts
• Taking back the reins of the divorce.
It may come as a surprise, but in many cases the impasse is the result of lawyers and/or judges who cannot get along. In addition, using lawyers as surrogates to communicate is not ever as effective as open and honest communication between the two people who know the most about the marriage and have the most at stake in the outcome – you and your spouse! A divorce coach will help you understand YOU are in charge of the divorce, how long it takes, how much it costs, and who makes the decisions. A firm grasp of that reality and a plan of action can literally change the dynamic of the divorce and move it to a resolution in the best interests of everyone.